Torn Between Two Lovers?
As I write this entry, I am shaking with fear. My position is so scary!
When the bell rang to end Gifted on Friday, I walked out of the classroom. I began to walk towards the 7 red pod area, and then I came up to Brett Baker, who was also walking back from Gifted. He told me, "I'm gonna kill Gary!"
"We should kill Jenna while we're at it," I suggested.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Brett. "Jenna and Brianne need to be shot."
"The world will celebrate when they're gone," I said.
"No, I've got a better idea. We could come to school with shock collars and put them on Jenna and Brianne," Brett announced.
"And they could flip for us when we hit the buttons," I added.
"That would be awesome! It's like, 'Hey, Jenna and Brianne, flip for me.' ZZZAAPP!"
I hurried off to social studies, laughing all the way at the thought of Jenna and Brianne in shock collars. "Brett's so funny," I thought. And that's when it hit me. That bubbling sensation could only mean one thing...
"No!" I said to myself. "This can't be happening to me, not for a third time!"
I was in total shock! I realized right then that part of me was IN LOVE WITH BRETT BAKER!
Now, I know you might think being in love would be a good thing, but I am still desperately longing for Alex. I don't want to forget him, ever! And if I love Brett, then... (Oh, you get the idea.)
I'm still getting over my heartbreak with Alex! I'm not ready for love again! Yet, I am doing so forcefully. It's like I'm caught on shaky ground, and then I'm making an earthquake by giving the shake strength (or loving Brett) and at any moment I would fall into the crack in the Earth.
I want to love Brett because there's a chance that he could heal my wounds from my depression. But if he rejected me like Alex and Colton, I could see myself doing things like failing school, getting in trouble with the law, showing hatred for everything, having no more friends and finally...
COMMITING SUICIDE!
I can see it all happening. I have nightmares that I'm lying dead on my bedroom floor, blood surrounding me, a knife in my hands. I'm entirely scared. If I don't find a solution soon, I really will fade away forever, take the plunge, and kill myself! Somebody help me!
Ciao for Now, from unstable and panic-stricken,
-Jess
As I write this entry, I am shaking with fear. My position is so scary!
When the bell rang to end Gifted on Friday, I walked out of the classroom. I began to walk towards the 7 red pod area, and then I came up to Brett Baker, who was also walking back from Gifted. He told me, "I'm gonna kill Gary!"
"We should kill Jenna while we're at it," I suggested.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Brett. "Jenna and Brianne need to be shot."
"The world will celebrate when they're gone," I said.
"No, I've got a better idea. We could come to school with shock collars and put them on Jenna and Brianne," Brett announced.
"And they could flip for us when we hit the buttons," I added.
"That would be awesome! It's like, 'Hey, Jenna and Brianne, flip for me.' ZZZAAPP!"
I hurried off to social studies, laughing all the way at the thought of Jenna and Brianne in shock collars. "Brett's so funny," I thought. And that's when it hit me. That bubbling sensation could only mean one thing...
"No!" I said to myself. "This can't be happening to me, not for a third time!"
I was in total shock! I realized right then that part of me was IN LOVE WITH BRETT BAKER!
Now, I know you might think being in love would be a good thing, but I am still desperately longing for Alex. I don't want to forget him, ever! And if I love Brett, then... (Oh, you get the idea.)
I'm still getting over my heartbreak with Alex! I'm not ready for love again! Yet, I am doing so forcefully. It's like I'm caught on shaky ground, and then I'm making an earthquake by giving the shake strength (or loving Brett) and at any moment I would fall into the crack in the Earth.
I want to love Brett because there's a chance that he could heal my wounds from my depression. But if he rejected me like Alex and Colton, I could see myself doing things like failing school, getting in trouble with the law, showing hatred for everything, having no more friends and finally...
COMMITING SUICIDE!
I can see it all happening. I have nightmares that I'm lying dead on my bedroom floor, blood surrounding me, a knife in my hands. I'm entirely scared. If I don't find a solution soon, I really will fade away forever, take the plunge, and kill myself! Somebody help me!
Ciao for Now, from unstable and panic-stricken,
-Jess
posted by Jess's Field Trips @ 3:16 PM
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