My Love Life
After reading my entire blog, you probably have several questions, such as:
-why I believe the zoo is cursed (From my second blog post)
-what I wrote my memoir about and who A.M. is (from my eleventh blog post)
-why I had the song "Far Away" stuck in my head during that field trip (from "Cahokia Mounds Field Trip")
-why I wasn't surprised that I was abusing medication (from "An Overdose of Medication")
Let me tell you one thing before I begin, it's a long story!
My love life began in the fourth grade. I started to play 20 Questions with a boy named Colton Solem. Gradually I began to love him. Then in January of 2005 he told me he loved me, too. On Valentine's Day of that same year, I kissed him! I didn't know that our perfect love wouldn't last. In September of 2005, during sixth grade, Colton fell for Alyson Adler, leaving me behind.
I didn't even notice that Colton was gone because I was already in love again. This time I came across a boy named Alex Motley. He was in my group in the Stuff And Things project last year. We would laugh at everything, and when our other group members would tell us it wasn't funny, we would say back at the same time, "Yes, it is!" I fell in love with him in early October.
And then there was that disastrous field trip. On October 21, 2005, the 6-Red team took a field trip to the Zoo. During lunch, when all the groups got together, I stalked Alex. When he saw me, he said, "I know why you're stalking me. It's because you like me." I was so shocked! (That explains why I believe the Zoo is cursed.)
I was still devistated by that field trip until late December. I wrote him a poem called "Come Back From The Dead" to explain my hidden feelings. He wrote back. At first I wasn't going to read it, but I was surprised that he even wrote back. The note said, "I value our friendship but nothing more. I don't want you to feel bad because I don't love you, and I'm sure you'll find someone who does. Don't feel depressed. Alex." I was thrilled that he really did care. My love was stronger than ever that day. It was the best Christmas present I had ever received.
That's why it was so hard for me to let go of Alex when he left me at the end of school year on May 31, 2006. Since then, I haven't been doing so well. In August, a depression started because he was gone. (This depression is still strong now. I'm actually suicidal.) I remembered Alex so well that I wrote my memoir about him. (A.M. = Alex Motley). Then I heard a Nickelback song called "Far Away". It expresses how much I miss Alex and need him to be happy. I've been playing that song in my head over and over. (That explains why I was singing it during that field trip.) Some of the effects of my depression are being unable to trust anyone, illusions, sleepless nights, crying spells, a small amount of medication abuse (which answers question # 4.) and, most importantly, flashes of deja vu. I don't think my heartache will ever end! I might die before I see Alex again. (I'm writing hidden messages in dirt, asking him to rescue me, and covering them up again.) I'm starting to wonder: Can anyone save me?
Ciao for Now,from suicidal and depressed,
-Jess
After reading my entire blog, you probably have several questions, such as:
-why I believe the zoo is cursed (From my second blog post)
-what I wrote my memoir about and who A.M. is (from my eleventh blog post)
-why I had the song "Far Away" stuck in my head during that field trip (from "Cahokia Mounds Field Trip")
-why I wasn't surprised that I was abusing medication (from "An Overdose of Medication")
Let me tell you one thing before I begin, it's a long story!
My love life began in the fourth grade. I started to play 20 Questions with a boy named Colton Solem. Gradually I began to love him. Then in January of 2005 he told me he loved me, too. On Valentine's Day of that same year, I kissed him! I didn't know that our perfect love wouldn't last. In September of 2005, during sixth grade, Colton fell for Alyson Adler, leaving me behind.
I didn't even notice that Colton was gone because I was already in love again. This time I came across a boy named Alex Motley. He was in my group in the Stuff And Things project last year. We would laugh at everything, and when our other group members would tell us it wasn't funny, we would say back at the same time, "Yes, it is!" I fell in love with him in early October.
And then there was that disastrous field trip. On October 21, 2005, the 6-Red team took a field trip to the Zoo. During lunch, when all the groups got together, I stalked Alex. When he saw me, he said, "I know why you're stalking me. It's because you like me." I was so shocked! (That explains why I believe the Zoo is cursed.)
I was still devistated by that field trip until late December. I wrote him a poem called "Come Back From The Dead" to explain my hidden feelings. He wrote back. At first I wasn't going to read it, but I was surprised that he even wrote back. The note said, "I value our friendship but nothing more. I don't want you to feel bad because I don't love you, and I'm sure you'll find someone who does. Don't feel depressed. Alex." I was thrilled that he really did care. My love was stronger than ever that day. It was the best Christmas present I had ever received.
That's why it was so hard for me to let go of Alex when he left me at the end of school year on May 31, 2006. Since then, I haven't been doing so well. In August, a depression started because he was gone. (This depression is still strong now. I'm actually suicidal.) I remembered Alex so well that I wrote my memoir about him. (A.M. = Alex Motley). Then I heard a Nickelback song called "Far Away". It expresses how much I miss Alex and need him to be happy. I've been playing that song in my head over and over. (That explains why I was singing it during that field trip.) Some of the effects of my depression are being unable to trust anyone, illusions, sleepless nights, crying spells, a small amount of medication abuse (which answers question # 4.) and, most importantly, flashes of deja vu. I don't think my heartache will ever end! I might die before I see Alex again. (I'm writing hidden messages in dirt, asking him to rescue me, and covering them up again.) I'm starting to wonder: Can anyone save me?
Ciao for Now,from suicidal and depressed,
-Jess
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